Republicans assail Nobel award

First woman wins Nobel Prize for economics…Too Soon?

WASHINGTON — To Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, American Elinor Ostrom's Nobel Prize for Economics is an opportunity to exploit conservative outrage and raise funds.

"Democrats and their international leftist allies want America made subservient to the agenda of global redistribution and control," Steele wrote in an e-mail that invited contributions of up to $1,000. "And truly patriotic Americans like you and our Republican Party are the only thing standing in their way."

For many though, Professor Ostrum’s Nobel Prize is seen a coo for women around the world. The woman's rights movement, having gained ground in recent years, has taken a huge leap forward with the awarding of the Nobel Prize in Economics to a women for the first time...much to the dismay of Republicans.

Ratified in 1920, the Nineteenth Amendment prohibited state and federal agencies from gender-based restrictions on voting. Progress has been made in professional opportunities. Fields such as medicine, law, and science opened to include more women. At the beginning of the 20th century about 5% of the doctors in the United States were women. As of 2006, over 38% of all doctors in the United States were women, and today, women make almost 50% of the medical student population. While the numbers of women in these fields increased, many women still continue to hold clerical, factory, retail, or service jobs. For example, they worked as office assistants, on assembly lines, or as cooks…and some members of Congress believe that is A-OK.

"You lie!" Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., shouted from his seat on the Republican side of the stage at the Lucky Horseshoe. Following the outburst, Rep. Wilson secured several millions in funds for his campaign.

Ostrom becomes the first woman to win the lauded prize in its 40-year history.

The award was a "great surprise... I'm still a little bit in shock," she said by phone at the news conference announcing the prize. “I am humbled and accept this award for women everywhere.”

Ostrom's work shows that local communities often manage common resources -- such as woods, lakes and fish stocks -- better on their own than when outside authorities impose rules, the committee said. “Bureaucrats sometimes do not have the correct information, while citizens and users of resources do," she said to explain the significance of her work. But this has some Republican’s panties in a bunch.

“No matter what local’s think, those resources are better controlled by the federal government with as little funding as possible,” Rep. Joe Wilson shouted, also stating…again, and for no apparent reason,…”YOU LIE!”

Ostrom said she had not yet thought about what she would do with her half of the $1.4 million prize, but has admitted that she feels compelled to hand it all over to Rep. Joe Wilson for showing such moxy in the face of advancing liberal agendas.

Holy Big Ass Baby!

Indonesia - Known mainly for nutmeg and volcanoes, you can now add incredibly huge gigantic ass ripping babies to the island's attractive features.

Baby Guntur - or Thunder in Indonesi - has beaten the previous Indonesian record holder, 14.7-pound (6.7-kilogram) baby boy born on the outskirts of the capital, Jakarta, in 2007. "He is greedy and has a strong appetite, nursing almost nonstop," said Dr. States the Obvious. The baby's extreme weight was the result of excessive glucose from his mother during pregnancy, including excessive amounts Nutmeg Cookie Logs and Tumpeng.

The large infant is drawing curious crowds to the hospital where he was born. You can get some idea of how he measures up in picture above as workers try to squeeze the newborn through hospital doors. On display in the main lobby, this taint tearing tot is a site to behold - not to mention a real boon to the struggling hospital's financials. "We've sold more coffee at our hospital kiosks this week than we did all last year," says Dr. Santoso Munawaroh, head of pediatrics at Wahidin Sudirohusodo General Hospital.